Mountain Mayhem..

Occasionally you have beautiful interactions when you meet new people. Interactions that linger in your consciousness as a source of joy and uplift when things are tough or life is kicking you in the nuts. This story, is not one of those occasions.

Recently we made the trip out of Sydney to the Blue Mountains to visit our dear friends the lil Fezzies. They live in this beautiful spot high in the mountains that’s surrounded by bushlands, have a gorgeous daughter that we’ve wholeheartedly decided we’re going to convince to marry our Wild Foot when they’re both a few months older, and are some of the sweetest and most wonderful people we know.

We’d been out at a park enjoying brief patches of the wintery afternoon sunshine which seemed to only just offset the ice cold air that was setting my lips ablaze with every breath, when we decided it was time return to the Fezzie’s pad to put our kids to sleep for their afternoon naps. Upon returning we all disappeared into separate bedrooms and went about putting our little ones to bed. 

We were five or so minutes into the whole bedtime song and dance routine when those first signs of heavy eyelids began to present themselves, but it was also at that precise moment that there came a noise from just outside the window. Now as any parent can testify, when you're working your butt off to get your kids to sleep at a friends house and someone does something which boots them off the train to sleeptown, well, let's just say that this is just one of the numerous reasons that make me thankful that we Australians don't own guns! 

Wild Flower turned to me and blurted out “I think I heard someone at the door. You’d better go get it quickly before they wake everyone up!” 

(What comes next is the direct dialogue, as best as I can recall, from the events which transpired next!)

* * Opens Front Door * *

Me:               Hi

Lady At Door: Did she say I was stalking him?

* * Bamboozled Silence * *

Me:               Woow… I’m, ahh, wait.. I’m sorry, What?!?

LAD:              Did she say I was stalking him?

Me:               Ahh, oh, no, my wife's putting our kids to sleep and she said "I think someone's at the door" because we heard a noise.

LAD:              No, I heard them ladies saying something like I was stalking him. Did Philip tell her that? Cause that is just like Philip!

Me:               Oh wait, I’m sorry are you thinking from a different day? Because I don’t live here, this is our friend's place and we're just up here visiting today.

LAD:              I know that!! I just want to know what Philip’s been saying because I ain’t stalking him!

Me:               Woow, ok, I’m really.. ummm.. So who’s Philip?

LAD:              He’s a evil, EVIL man! And he’s a PSYCHOLOGIST!! He’s done me irreparable damage and now he’s telling people I’m stalking him! I used to live with him and for six months he messed with my head doing all sorts of mind games and making me say things about…

* * Interrupts * *

Me:               Well look, I think it’s safe to say that…

* * Interrupts Back * *

LAD:              BECAUSE I’m totally through with him and I don’t care what he’s doing now! He can go to hell for all I care!

Me:               No no, that’s fine. Look, I think it’s safe to say that even though I wasn’t in the conversation, if you heard the girls talking about something before, the fact remains that I have no idea who this Philip character is and so I think it’s a safe bet that they weren’t talking about him or about you!

LAD:              Well that’s good, cause that would be just like Philip to start spreading rumours like that to make me look bad!

Me:               No no, that’s fine. So… ah, was that all you wanted?

LAD:              Oh, I just wanted to return these.

* * Hands Over Scrunched Up Plastic Bag * *

LAD:              (mumbles to herself) Bloody Philip!

* * Turns & Walks Away * *

Me:               Ok, I hope the rest of your day gets better! Bye!

* * Closes Door & Walks Back Inside * *

Wild Flower: What on earth was that!!

Me:               Honestly.. I have no idea!

WF:               What’s in the bag?

Me:               I don’t know, but she said she was returning it? Wanna have a look?

* * Unfolds Plastic Bag * *

 

And what was in the bag I hear you ask? Well what else could it be except a pair of wings ripped from the body of a dead bird..

So next time you hear someone at your front door, it might be worth taking a moment to step back, take a deep breath and consider whether or not you'd be better served pretending that at that very moment, you're really not at home!